We used to participate at my former employer in a city-wide artistic competition. It expanded from art into literature, so I jumped in and won an honorable mention (see The Vending Machine elsewhere on my blog).
One of the short-lived categories was “The World’s Worst Opening Sentence.” This was limited to no more than fifty words and could have its own title that didn’t count toward the word limit.
Here is what I came up with:
Stanley Bristol, Werewolf for Hire
The sallow moon meandered languidly over the tree-line like a wrinkled helium balloon that has escaped from an unruly child, casting its pallid gleam o’er the molting werewolves emerging from their ghastly haunts to rend and shred unwary midnight travelers on the road to Kensington, which was pleasant in springtime.
At the time, I thought that the concept of a werewolf for hire was so insanely illogical as to be comical. Over time, however, the title kept tugging at my brain until I realized that the phrase was attention getting. It would also be a superb title for a real book.
Once I began viewing this as the ultimate writing challenge, I started laying the foundation for a logical, (I know, a logical werewolf story? But you gotta understand how my mind works) interesting fantasy/adventure story.
It’s been five years since my last book. There were many stops and starts, several job changes, new grandchildren, all of the things we like to credit for delays other than our own procrastination. But no longer.
Today I ordered my proof copy of Werewolf for Hire: The Ghost of Goresthorpe Grange from CreateSpace. This will allow me to check cover layout and interior formatting before officially publishing in 2017. Also my wife wants to read/proof it for me, but she feels more comfortable with a physical book than an e-reader, and this route is cheaper than printing it out myself.
It’s nice to see the finish line in sight. There’s still a lot of work ahead: marketing, interviews, signings, sales, still a Kindle edition.
Still, it’s a good feeling.